If you are thinking about having a divorce party, here are some points to consider to make sure it works for you and the people you choose to celebrate with.
IDEAS FOR DIVORCE PARTIES
It’s not just about you
Before you go crazy and start planning the party of the year, think about who is watching. You may be eager to move on with your new single life, but your children might still be dealing with your separation and don’t feel quite so happy about it. Plus, consider your ex-partner. If they are aware of the party it might feel like a ‘slap in the face’ and upsetting them will not help your future co-parenting relationship. Keeping celebrations low-key may be a better option if a big fancy bash could upset others around you.
What type of party
Parties come in all shapes and sizes. Many people go as far as themes, favours, cakes and games. Some even have rituals like the burning of wedding dresses! However, a few cocktails at a local bar, a dinner out or even a BBQ in your back yard may work better for you. It takes a lot of work to organise a party. Do you really want to put that on yourself? And if you do, make sure you enlist the help of good friends. Remember, parties are meant to be fun so make sure you can relax and enjoy yours.
See how you feel
Family separation is an emotional rollercoaster, and the twists and turns can surprise you. It is very common for people to long for the separation process to be over so they can move on with their new life. However, when those divorce papers arrive, it may hit harder than you thought and the last thing you feel like doing is celebrating. It is very important to look after yourself emotionally after divorce. Let the dust settle, see how you feel and how your children are coping, then make plans for your party. You may feel quite different about how to mark the occasion.
Who to invite
Getting the guest list right is crucial for any party, but more so for your divorce party. This is an opportunity to treat and thank the people who helped you through a difficult period of your live. Remember, divorce parties are a fairly new craze and not everyone agrees with them. Don’t invite those people! Other people may be going through a difficult time in their own relationship and a divorce party would be too difficult. Invite the people who will support, understand and genuinely celebrate with you.
What comes after the party
What comes up must come down. If you have occupied yourself planning a party, when the last guests have left and your new single life looms before you, you may feel down. And we all know kids and hangovers don’t mix! Make plans for what happens after your party. Yes, it was closure, but with closure comes new beginnings. What are yours? This is Day One of your new life and you have the power to live it as you choose. Think beyond the celebrations and consider the realty afterwards.
Do something symbolic
A divorce party doesn’t have to include loud music, dancing and huge quantities of alcohol. Instead you can mark the occasion with a more emblematic activity. Is there something you always wanted to do when you were married but never got around it or your ex didn’t approve of it. Well, do it now! A skydive or a spa day. Or grab the kids and take a holiday or a weekend break. Involving your children will help them understand that, yes, things are changing, but you’ve got this, and everything will be OK.