Co-parenting after a separation or divorce can often feel like navigating turbulent waters. It’s no surprise that co-parenting conflict often leads to significant stress. However, it’s crucial to remember that successful co-parenting leads to happier, more balanced children. However, with open communication and a commitment to reducing conflicts, it’s possible to turn the tide. Successful co-parenting ensures that children grow up in a loving, balanced environment, making the effort worthwhile.

To help you navigate this complex journey, we’ve compiled a list of strategies to reduce co-parenting conflict, improve communication, and create a more harmonious environment for your children.


1. Embrace empathy and active listening

Recognizing and understanding your co-parent’s feelings can minimise high conflict co-parent scenarios. Open communication, even amidst disagreements, lays the foundation for a constructive working relationship, ensuring both parents work effectively for their child’s well-being.

2. Seek mediation

When conflicts seem unending, it might be time to involve a neutral third party or a parent coordinator. These professionals can offer unbiased perspectives, guiding both parties towards resolutions that are in the best interest of the children.

3. Set clear expectations and boundaries

Clarity in roles and responsibilities can be a game-changer in reducing conflicts. Regularly reviewing and updating these expectations ensures both parents work cohesively, minimising potential disagreements. 

4. Prioritise your children

Amidst the storm of co-parenting, the children’s well-being should always be the anchor. Focus on problem-solving and avoid conflict-inducing behaviors like placing blame or having heated debates in their presence.

5. Build a support system

Co-parenting can be emotionally draining. Leaning on friends, family, or support groups can provide a much-needed outlet for your feelings.

Further reading: Brilliant charities that offer help during your separation.

6. Practice self-care

Take care of your emotional and physical health. Engaging in self-care activities can reduce stress levels and create a more stable environment for your children.

7. Stay flexible and adaptable

As your children grow, their needs change. Be open to adjusting your parenting arrangement to accommodate these changes.

8. Proactively Solve Problems

Instead of getting entrenched in disagreements, focus on proactive problem-solving. This approach not only reduces conflicts but also fosters a positive working relationship between co-parents.

9. Maintain Respect

Treat your co-parent with respect, especially in front of your children. Focus on finding solutions rather than winning arguments.

10. Seek Professional Help

Therapists or counselors can provide guidance on communication, conflict resolution, and emotional management.

11. Communicate Directly

Avoid using your child as a messenger. Instead, discuss important issues directly to prevent confusion and potential conflict.

12. Make use of technology

In today’s digital age, various co-parenting apps and websites can be a boon. They provide platforms for calendar sharing, task lists, and maintaining open communication, ensuring both parents work in harmony.


In essence, successful co-parenting hinges on teamwork, patience, and unwavering open communication. While the journey might be fraught with challenges, the sight of your children flourishing in a secure and loving environment makes every hurdle surmountable.

Further reading: How to give and gain respect during your separation.


Posted by Belinda Eldridge
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